Merdeka

31 August 2007 marked the 50th year of Malaysia's independence. Year after year the country has celebrated this momentous occasion with events of which the pinnacle has always been the Merdeka parade. This year, the parade will be at Dataran Merdeka (Independence Square).

I remember the first time I participated in a Merdeka parade. It was 1986 and I was 14, a member of my school's (Sekolah Alam Shah) marching band. Dataran Merdeka then was not the Dataran Merdeka today. The tall flagpole with the huge Malaysia flag flying proudly was not there. The stage, the garden, even the shops and parking lots under the field were not there. It was just a plain field, flanked by the Bangunan Kelab Selangor and Bangunan Sultan Abdul Samad.

The parade started at 8 am but all the contingents were required to be there at 5 am. I think the events leading to the parade on that day were not as elaborate as they are nowadays since almost all of us stood on the field itself, rather than along the roads nearby. Quite tiring, really.. standing there for 3 hours or so doing nothing. Then the parade was on.

We marched in front of the Prime Minister and all the Menteris and guests. I must say I can't really remember what I felt that day. I was 14 and the meaning of Merdeka was not really something a 14-year old would think about. But I did feel proud that I was part of my school's marching band, representing my school (one of the top boarding schools in Malaysia) in the Merdeka parade that year. I participated again in 1987, 1988 and 1989.

After I finished school, I went overseas to further my study. Stayed 5 years there and only got back to Malaysia in 1996. I honestly admit that I have always had this couldn't-care-less attitude towards what is Merdeka to our country, our people. I had always taken for granted what Malaysia has to offer to her people. The years I was overseas, I mixed freely with people from different countries, mostly students. Most of them had the same attitude as myself.. being young and only had to worry about studies and exam results.

Only after I came back to Malaysia that, given choices, I realised I would rather live in this country.. where my family is.. where my root is. I love Malaysia. She will always be my home.

Tomorrow is the Merdeka Day and the country is celebrating. There are flags and posters everywhere.. on the buildings, on the cars, trees, lamp posts.. The radios are continually playing patriotic songs, the TVs are showing patriotic advertisements.. everywhere is about Merdeka and the spirits of patriotism are at their highest.

So.. what does it mean to be Merdeka? How truly Merdeka are we, anyway? Physically we may be free from colonialism.. but what about our minds? Our spirits? We can see so many of our traditions lost to the so called modernisation. We can see so many of our cultures forgotten as the years went by. And so many others which makes me sad just by thinking of them.

Everybody has their own interpretation of Merdeka, from the pretty straight forward answers all the way to the convoluted ones. For me, it's freedom.. not just physical, but also mental and spiritual. Freedom from all those negative influence that stole away my Malaysian identity. Freedom to achieve as high as I can but within the law and with my roots firmly placed in this beloved country.

I look at the younger generation and without fail, I can only feel extreme disappointment. Are these the future of Malaysia then? Makes me shudder just thinking about it. What happened, actually? It's like all the parents are no longer bothered about the upbringing of their children. Everytime I see these kids I can only iterate in my mind, "There goes our future.. there goes Malaysia's future." It's sad, really.

Now, let us all ask ourselves this question: "What are our contribution to our country?"

Happy Merdeka Day, Malaysia. I'm truly proud to be Malaysian.